February 21st, 2014: A Day That Will Live On In Infamy

Get Jazzed

I dropped my backpack to the floor, tore open a yogurt, and amped up some tunes as I tried to get all hyped up for my practice interview.

I danced like a moron around my room in the hopes of it helping time speed up so that I could just leave for the interview already. (I got back from Spanish at noon something and had to wait until at least 1:15 or so to walk over to Lucina. I had major ants in my pants.)

Somehow, I managed to not go crazy waiting to leave and then I finally trekked across campus in eighty-four mile an hour winds (or so they seemed) to meet my fate. 

Well..."fate." This was still just a practice after all.

Oooohhh, professional-y.

Sweat is the New Oil

I got to the interview about twenty minutes early so I could change into heels and go over things again before having to head to the interview room.

Man, if sweat were gold, I would have been RICH. 

Not only was I sweating from nerves, but also from walking over in blustery/coldish-but-not-really conditions. 

It was gross and not consoling. And the longer I waited, the worse it got.

THANKS, BIOLOGY. 

Polar Vortex

I should have legally changed my name to "Polar Vortex" before this whole interview thing.

BECAUSE I FROZE LIKE A POLAR AIR MASS.

That's right, son. Throwin' down them mad metaphors.

But okay, okay, don't beg. I'll clarify.

I'm not one who likes to talk about herself, or often in general, unless I feel comfortable enough.

"What?! But you're a WRITER! You MUST be a good speaker!"

No.

Unless I have some sort of script or prepared speech, I cannot speak to save my life. I'm not kidding. I ramble, I stutter, I don't make sense. I fall flat on my face.

I hear myself saying stupid things that don't make any sense and I can't stop.

And then, maybe even worse than rambling, though maybe just as bad, is the freezing.

Oh yeah. I froze.

At least two or three times. 

Except less bears and more me

I knew I had to think of something, say something but I had nothing. Like, I just sat there with my hands poised, frozen as well, while my mouth and brain did nothing.

At that point, I really just wanted my hands to talk for me. But I sadly know all of ten ASL signs, most inappropriate.

That's when your saddened protagonist, aka me, started to feel utterly hopeless.

Life Was Hard and She Sucked At Interviews

That, ladies and gentlemen, is going to be inscribed upon my tombstone.

If I were going to actually have a tombstone. No, I've got a whole death monument planned. But, I digress...

I don't know. It's not like I haven't had interviews before. I've had multiple ones but this was the worst I've ever done. 

I left the room completely shaken, rattled, and rolled.

After filling out an "after interview survey" or whatever you want to call it, I changed back out of my heels and called my mom, basically nearly crying the whole walk back to my dorm. (The only reason I didn't cry was because I was in public. Otherwise, I would have sobbed until mascara trails were burned into my cheeks.)

I was just so frustrated, pissed at myself.

It's talking. TALKING. Not rocket surgery. But, I can't do it. I suck at it.

And I guess that's kind of the conclusion I've come to:  it's just one of those things for me. Like math or physics. I just don't get how to do it. 

Sure, I can eventually bullshit my way through a calculus or physics problem, so hopefully the same applies to interviews but I'm not so sure.

I honestly would rather sing in public than go through another interview. And that's one of my worst fears.

Sadly, I can't just opera my way through an interview.

Super Rad

Now that this blog post is long enough, I'd just like to say that my interviewer was a wonderful man. He was very relaxed, laid back, and talked to me about some really cool things that weren't even a part of the interview.

That being said, I really hate that I'm going to leave him with that impression of me. Because the girl that was in that room was not who I really am. She's a moron. The one typing right now may also be a moron, but at least she's lively and hides her moronic tendencies.

Interviews are hard. I know they're hard for everyone, but man, are they difficult for me.

It was a learning experience, no matter if what I learned was positive or negative.

And now, I'm just going to go back to quietly hiding, enjoying the fact that I don't have to worry about this interview anymore.

My spirit animal

New Age Book Reviews

The Next Generation

For those of you who don't know, the picture you see above is known as a "meme." They hit the internet sometime in the recent past and have continued to be used for all types of situations, mostly to make fun of other things on the internet or to emphasize a certain emotion.

Philip J. Fry from Futurama is emphasizing my confusion as to whether or not memes and their video brothers, GIFs, should be included in book reviews.

Yes, include these often times sarcastic, overly dramatic, and misunderstood by many memes and GIFs into a book review.

Stance

I read about it in this article for my literary citizenship class. At first, I didn't believe that it was a serious thing. I only knew memes from Facebook or Tumblr. I didn't think it should be in something as serious as a book review.

My main reason is because I know that I, as the reviewer, would want to be taken seriously. I feel like the use of something as casual as a GIF or meme could be misconstrued as a mockery of the book, not taking the job of being a reviewer with as much weight as it should be.

I wouldn't want to work hard on a review, toss in a meme, and then be discredited.

Others, though, saw the value in memes. 

Some classmates/Twitter acquaintances said that it would depend on the type of book being reviewed.

For instance, a YA book might lend itself to using a meme or some kind of reaction GIF in the review to help convey an overall feeling about the book or to portray what kind of humor might be within the pages whereas a thriller novel for adults would not.

To Use or NOT To Use

That is the question.

The jury is still out on GIFs and memes, therefore, use good judgment, Hamlet. 

Really think about whether the meme will be distracting and take away from what you're trying to say...

Or if it will really help you get a point across. 

The most important thing is that your intended message in your review get across. 

What Do You Think?

So what do you think about the inclusion--or exclusion--of memes and GIFs in reviews?

The review of the future....or just a distraction from the "prestige" of review writing?

"Condescending Wonka"

Moon Landing and Writing: How They're Basically the Same

Irony

A writer who doesn't know how to write? That is indeed ironic.

A blog post, that can't be that hard, right? I mean, what do you really have to do besides rant on about what you think about things, you know what I mean?

Wrong.

There's so many components to a good blog that it's actually intimidating. 

For example, having an eye catching title. It's the first thing people see! You've gotta impress them right away or, honey, you've already lost your potential audience.

Not only drawing people in, but keeping them with you is another challenge bloggers face. 

Luckily, sites such as this one operate to help you make sure you know just what things to try and work into your blog to make it as appealing as possible.

It's one of the many readings that I've had to do so far for my Literary Citizenship class that's beginning to help mold me into a more conscious citizen of the literary world.

What Is Literary Citizenship?

I can't tell you how many times I've been asked that. I'm still learning myself just what it means to be a literary citizen, but this is the general gist I have so far:

Reaching out into the literary community and helping other writers by promoting their work, being interested in what others are doing, so that you may make yourself known. When the time comes for you to need similar backing, if you've done your outreach right, you should have some connections to at least help you get started.

In one of the readings that we had to do, Chuck Sambuchino's "12 Principles of Platform," a main point of his was that "in giving, we receive."

That means we, as comrades in the literary community, must give recognition to others and their hard work in order to hopefully receive that same attention one day.

Being in this class will improve my own literary citizenship.

I'm in this class, honestly, because it is a mandatory class for my Creative Writing major. But the fact that it's mandatory does nothing to change the fact that I'm not excited to learn.

Making your way into such a competitive field that is only getting tighter and more selective is extremely hard. But I feel that at the end of this course, I'll be able to find the ways to make connections with other writers and find that elusive tunnel out into the writing world.

So How Do I Get Out There?

Well, you can start with something really simple:

Just give.

Read a book and then write a review of it and post it online.

OR if technology still rocks your boat in all the wrong ways, review it the old fashioned way: by word of mouth.

I love being able to talk about a good book I just read. Or any of the books I have read.

And, although I am a meteorology minor, sometimes I like to talk about things other than the weather with people.

Some Stuff That's Helped

Last week, we had to read Austin Kleon's Steal Like An Artist. The book was not only original in its square, smaller pages, but in the fact that it was a very visual book. 

What I took away from it, and will remember most, is that when we learn to write, we emulate our heroes. (Hence, we steal). 

We copy styles, word choices, maybe even genres from our favorite authors until we learn to write ourselves. They are our grand stepping stones into the world of book writing.

I know that I stole from Dean Koontz and learned how to write from him. I even wrote to him on multiple occasions and he responded! Not just a standard, pre-written letter, but he actually took the time to physically write a response himself.

And that meant the world to me.

So, as Kleon says, steal like an artist and use their knowledge to help find yourself in the writing world...but then give back! Send them a letter telling them how much you loved a book or something along those lines.

You're killing two birds with one stone.

We Do These Things Because They Are Hard

Yeah, that's a little JFK action in there for ya. 

But his famous quote fits in perfectly with not only trying to land men on the moon, but also writing.

How can you compare space travel to simply writing?! 

Easy: with words.

The point is, in Betsy Lerner's book, The Forest for the Trees, she discusses the writer's most feared thing: rejection.

DUHN DUHN DUHHHHHNNNN.

And while, yes, it may be a horrifying, crippling thing, she spins it in a more positive light.

She compares each stage of rejection as being just another stepping stone in the writing world.

You start out with informal letters; move onto informal letters with something scrawled on it, maybe an actual (although illegible) signature from an editor; then you get a letter with more comments; and finally the personal letter which may tell you to "try us again" or "give this a try" and so on.

That final personal letter, while still a rejection, is what Lerner compares to landing on the moon. 

It's a GIANT leap and means that you're almost there! Keep up the faith, good writer. Don't settle for anything less than not only going to the moon, but returning home safely (hopefully with an offer by a publisher).

I completely love space beyond almost anything else in this world, and when she used this analogy, it really helped me to realize that rejection is a long, scary road, but eventually, with persistence and determination, success can and will be achieved. 

We DID make it to the moon after all. 

I want to not only emulate my favorite authors, but also my heroes of space travel.

To Disengage

The most important things to remember are that in this world of writing, you aren't alone. There is a whole big ocean of writers struggling to have themselves be known.

We all need to help each other.

Give, and ye shall receive.

Learn from your heroes and tell them so.

Reach out! Don't be silent. Talk to others, make yourself available. Make your own little writing community.

And most importantly, shoot for the moon. Because, c'mon, who doesn't want to go to the moon?

Apollo 11 Astronauts
Neil Armstrong
Michael Collins
Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin